The End to the Beginning

Graduation is coming up in only six days. I am graduating along with my friends Frank, Glo, Kathleen, Abby, Maggie Q and lots of others.  We all can't believe that its all almost over and that we will be going to college after the summer is over!  The other day I told Glo I didn't think I was ready yet. I'm pretty sure she said the same.

The most awesome thing so far was our Church's Graduation Mass on Sunday. At the mass everyone graduating sat in the front row in our cap and gowns. The best thing was that Fr. Tappe blessed us with a special blessing.

That's when it hit me: I'm really graduating! Graduation is the end of a good era. I won't be in high school anymore. It's almost over.

On the other hand, graduation is also the beginning of a good era.  After its over I am going to take the next big step and go to college. I can't wait to go to college and  meet new people. I'm also looking forward to  learning  on a higher level and  beginning  my ultrasound technician program.

 In my mind I was thinking oh no, I don't know if I'm ready or not. However I'm looking forward to getting into college and taking the next steps, too.

Saying Goodbye to our Beloved Dog

Our loving dog Judy past away in her sleep a few weeks ago. We found her right before we all went to bed. My dad called her name and called her name, but she wouldn't come. Then we saw her sleeping on the floor by the chair, but she wasn't sleeping. I ran over to our neighbor's house so she could help us see if Judy was still alive. She looked at her and saw that she was gone.

The hardest part was calling Chris, because Judy had been his dog! We all went to sleep. The next morning we went and got Chris so he could see her before we buried Judy. It was all very sad. We all couldn't believe that she was dead. We all had a really hard time with the fact the she wasn't going be around anymore.

Judy was the sweetest dog you could ever dream of. She was part of the family. Usually, when we went on vacation, she would go with us. She would always sleep with you when you were sick. Judy was like a best friend to everyone in the family. She was a great dog who loved everyone. There will never be a dog like Judy again.

R.I.P Judy!

Overnight Success

I picked my friend Nelly up Saturday morning to go get something to eat, and then go to my Church's car wash. We had so much fun, we even had a water fight! Then we had to stop because more cars came and we needed to wash them, not each other. After the car wash we took Nelly back to her house for a little bit. I had to clean my room, but before I went to the store to get snack foods for the sleep over. We went home and cleaned my room. I  didn't know if I was going to get it all done, but I did (with my Daddy's help).

Mommy wanted  to go to the store real fast, so Dad and Mom and I went to the store then picked Nelly up. We went back to the house, got our snack foods, and went up to my room. We chilled, talked, made jokes, and played with our Iphones. Nelly was singing for me as well! We just had lots of fun but then we went to bed early.

In the morning, we woke up and ate breakfast. We went to church together. Then I went to youth group, and my Mom and Dad took Nelly home. It was all so much fun!

Showing me the Light

I had a really good talk with my Dad about love. A few mouths ago I thought I was in love. But my Dad told me love is mutual; if it is not mutual, it isn't love. I thought he loved me, but I was wrong! So, if he didn't love me back it really wasn't love. It may have felt like love, but it wasn't.

Its hard for us to tell what's real and what's not. I'm 18 and I have no clue what real love is like. I just know its not like in the movies, like every girl hopes it is! It's more like your Mom and Dad's love or like your friend's Mom and Dad.

When you see real love you, will just know. But I'm telling you its not easy to know. When you think you're in love, its not always real. So I think you should just start praying for that person to come into your life and stop looking hard for it. I have learned that things come when you don't look. It will all happen on God's time, not ours.

I'm Taking the Steps

I'm working hard to be the person I want to be. The person I have dreamed of becoming! When I turned 18, I became the person I said I would never be. I am ashamed of who I was! But now I will take the steps to be the person I want to be.

I was the person who went the easy way, even if it was the bad way to do things. But now I'm willing to take the hard and better way! It isn't easy doing the right thing; people don't tell you that. You have to find out on your own, but everyone knows that its best to do the right thing. If you do the bad thing, you end up being the person you were before and have to start all over again. No one wants that; but it can become easier when you start being that person you always wanted to be. For me it seems to be getting easier day after day and I'm getting closer and closer to being that person.

Bingo! Its a Dance!

My youth group had a bingo night/dance. We are raising money for our summer trip; we did the dance because you can only do so many car washes before your ears get water logged. Also, most people would rather go to a dance!

We also played bingo for a while. When you think of bingo you think of old people, but even teen's love bingo! Some people won cupcakes and other sweet foods! Everyone had to make something sweet to take. I made chocolate chip cookies; most of the time I would have make a cake, but I forgot I had to bring something until the last minute.

After bingo we turned off the lights and turned on the music. At first no one got up and danced, but then good songs came on so everyone got up and danced. My favorite song was the Electric Slide. Then after a lot of dancing, we all got food and drinks and just chilled and talked. I talked with my friend Mark and  his friend Isabele. We talked about Mark's homework and where she goes to school and how loud the music was! Then more good songs came on, so we got up and danced some more. By then we were all comfortable; in fact everyone was sad it was over.

All Dressed Up with Someplace to Go

It finally happened! The thing that you wait 4 years for!! Your Senior Semi-Formal!! I have dreamed about my Senior  semi-formal for years because I have older brothers and they told me about their's, so I have been waiting for mine to come. And it did.

Before it me and some of my girl friends got ready together. We did our hair and nails and makeup all together. It was so much fun. Then our parents took pictures together then went on in. We all couldn't believe it was our last one. We got in and everyone looked great in their dresses and suits. So we all talked for a bit, then we sat down and started to eat our dinner. The food was pretty good.

After we finished eating we had the no-talent talent show. As always, it was very funny! Then after that we had the Senior awards. It was awesome! i got the “Mary Poppins” award for all my babysitting and for always having things on hand in my big bag when I need them. Then some of us went to the after party and some went home .

My First Trip to Ocean City

My Mom, Dad and I all went to Ocean City for the first time a couple of weekends ago. At first, I wanted to have the weekend with my friend and not go! But then I got there! It was so pretty! At the hotel where we were staying we had an ocean view. The ocean was right outside our window. It was awesome!

We got there on Friday, and we went into the indoor pool. It was really nice and not too cold. Then my Dad and Mom went to a meeting for our church. That was the main reason we were there; my Dad had lots of meetings in Ocean City. But we came to have fun too. Then we went down to the second floor to have some food. Then we got tired, so we went to sleep.

The next morning I had plans to go hang out with two good friends from CBA. It was great. I spent the day with them and their cool family! We went and walked by the ocean. I got seashells and other stuff. It was the best time I have had in a long time! Then we went and got something to eat at a BBQ place; it was really yummy! Afterwards we went back to their house and chilled for a bit, then they took me back about 7. Then I went to talk to my Mom and Dad about my day! I showed them pictures and my seashells. After that we got ready to go down again to get something to eat. We just chilled down there and had a good time until it was time for bed.

The next morning we woke up, got ready to go, then headed back home! It was one of the nicest weekends I have had in a very long time.

Senior Year is Almost Over

I can't believe my senior year is almost over. It seems like last week I was a 7th grader coming into CBA for the first time.

I remember my very first day of CBA. I was scared; I didn't know anyone, I didn't know what to do. I just went with nothing but a bag and school supplies. But now I could tell you pretty much where all the classes are and I have a great group of friends!

CBA was everything I could wish for. Everyone is like a big family! Some of my favorite people to talk to are the 9th graders; they are so sweet and they have so much they want to know about high school! I know a lot now from being in CBA for 6 years.

I can't believe it's been 6 years and, that I'm starting collage this coming year. I have big plans ahead of me, and can't wait to get started. My time at CBA has been great. I've been blessed with so many things! But CBA is sadly coming to an end for us Seniors. Its going to be heartbreaking to leave CBA. Everyone falls in love with CBA after being there awhile but everything comes to a end. But its all good because my next step in life is going to happen with college.

Why Matthew Why

I finally saw the season finale of Downton Abbey. My parents had tried to tell me how great the show was, but I didn't believe them. Boy, was I wrong! It's great! But the third season finale!

Wow!

It was the worst thing I have ever seen in my life. My favorite character, Matthew died right after his baby boy was born! How could they kill off  the best person on the show? It's because the dumb actor didn't want to be on the show anymore!

I'm so mad that he left the show. I can't see why he wouldn't want to be on one of the best shows out there. He was a big part of the show, too, and so many people are so mad. They are writing about how much they hate the actor for leaving the show on the actor's Facebook page! Its got to be kind of bad, because he shouldn't have left the show. If he just stayed, no one would be mad at him, but he left! There isn't much more I can say about it!

Some People Rise, Some People Fall

A friend and I went through the same thing. But what is different about her and I is I rose and she just fell. Another thing that makes us different is, I wanted to get better; she just sat there and felt sorry for herself. I felt bad, but she didn't want help or want to change!

What I want is to get better and move on with my life. I don't think she will ever see that's what she needs to do. Sometimes I feel like she is so blind to the help she could get! As for me, I'm getting all the help I need! I just know there is so much more in her than she is letting everyone see. She could be so great one day, but not if she doesn't get better or do better.

Its so sad to see someone not even try to help themselves. I tried to help her but I couldn't. No one can. She doesn't want help. I thought I could help her, but no! I was wrong! She said over and over again that she needed help, but she won't get it.

That is why some of us get healthy again and some don't. You have to be willing to see that you aren't doing well and get help. One day she will see she should have gotten help when she needed it the most but choose a different road--and not a good one, either.

What to Wear and What not to Wear.

I go out to the store, and its hard to shop for decent clothes. What the world wants you to wear is very different from what I would wear! I like to look good without looking like a a bad person.

Some of us don't want to show everything we have to the whole world. How you dress shows what you are willing to give out, too. The girls who wear the bad outfits are giving out way more then I'm willing to!

I like how I can wear nice stuff but still look good. I still wear lots of dresses, but I just don't show everything off like some girls! I believe that everyone should always look nice, even if you're just going to the store. Sometime I know we are just too lazy to get dressed up. I feel the same way sometimes. But we should look nice.

What we wear sends a message. I would like my message to be a good one. We all should want that! It takes a lot to look nice and show yourself in your outfit. But its a good feeling when you can say I dressed like me today. People can tell what kind of person you are within your outfit. A lot of people wouldn't see it like this, but this is my outlook. I think a lot of people should try to think like this a little! I think a lot of people don't even think about what they are wearing. But a lot of people don't even care if they look good, but we should all try to look our best.

October Baby

I saw this pro-life movie called October Baby. It was so amazing and moving. Its about a girl who finds out she is adopted. She goes to find her birth mother to find out why she was given up. She finds out that she is a failed abortion! She had a twin brother who came out with only one arm; he didn't make it more then 3 weeks after they were born. All she waited to know is why she wasn't with her birth mom, and she finds out all this painful stuff from her past that she didn't know about.

She was mad at her mom and dad for not telling her that they were not her birth mom and dad! They didn't tell her because it hurt too much to talk about. It was just easier not to say anything at all. I get both sides! I would want to know—well, I do know! But I get why they didn't want to talk about it. Its hard because since it was a failed abortion, she had lots of health problems. She finds out when she is 18 when she passes out at a play.

In the end she got to see her birth mother. Her birth mother tells her just to go! She went back 2 days later and left a note for her birth mother telling her she forgave her. Her mom opened the note, collapsed to the floor and started crying. I'm sure she felt bad for what she did, and that's why she didn't want to see her.

It was a really great movie. I think everyone should go see it! 

You Never Know People!

I did it again! I always make friends with people who need my help. I think it's important to help people, but there is such a thing as going too far. I always seem to do that. Then, I get taken advantage of! And that's a bad thing! No one should take advantage of anyone.

They always say they care about me so much. So I want to help them so badly. Then, boom! Before I know it, they've taken advantage of me! It happens again and again. I don't know why I make that kind of person my friend, but i do! Maybe it is because I feel badly for them and want to help them! I have been a bad place and just wanted some help, but I couldn't ask for it! So I get closer to the people that need my help. That's a bad thing because I still need help myself.

Its so important that you pick the right people to be your friends, because there are lots of wrong ones who can make your life harder than it has to be. So I think you need to get to know people before you get to close to them. Its not healthy being close to those people either! We all need good healthy friends.

Growing Up

Every 18 year old wants to grow up and get out from under their parent's wings. But when you get to the time when you have more freedom, some people go overboard. They go out with the wrong guys, get tattoos, drink, smoke and stuff like that. They do all the things their parents told them not to do; as soon as they can, they want to, so they do it all! Its a bad path to take, but some of us choose one of them or all of them!

Becoming an adult is hard; there is so much you can do when you are an adult. You are just so tired of being told that you are just a kid and that you don't know anything. So you go off on your own to see what the world is like--not through your mom and dad's eyes, but through your own. You see its hard being an adult too. No one ever said it was easy because its not!

Becoming an adult means making the right choices. The reason we are adults and still in high school is because we still need someone to show us how to be an adult. Most of us need help knowing the right way to grow up. Its not like you say on your 18^th birthday, “Hey, everybody, I'm a grown up! I'm just like you all!” You turn 18 and then you work on growing up. You learn how to make good choice by being able to say no to the bad ones. It takes a lot of work, but you don't just want to sit around and hope you will grow up any minute. It doesn't just happen. Growing up is not easy but its worth it in the end.

What Kind of Friends Should You Have in Your Life?

We all need healthy people in our lives. They are the people that will get us far. We want people that will help us, not put us back into the dark place that we were in before. We need people that will be there for us no matter what!

Most of the time you have a few people that will only be there in the good times. When the bad times come—boom, they are gone! You don't want that kind of friend at all; they are no good for you.

It is good to have friends that are better than you are, because they can shine the light into your darkness. That will help you find the light in your own life. (There is a light in your life! It isn't all bad!)

If you have two unhealthy people together, things can only end badly. They will get into stuff they shouldn't. When you have a healthy friend to tell you, “Hey, Maggie, maybe you shouldn't do that,” it helps a lot because it makes you rethink what you're about to do. You say to yourself, “If my friend says I shouldn't, maybe they are right.” Your good friends will only want the best for you! They never want something bad to happen to you. What about a bad friend? Chances are, they just won't care what happens to you.

We should fill our lives with healthy people! They are better for us in the long run.

Family and Friends

My family and friends are the ones who will be there no matter what I did to push them away. I was having a hard time. But instead of reaching to them for help, I pushed the most important people in my life away. That just shows how bad off I was!

I didn't want their help, but that doesn't mean I didn't need it. Because I did. But in spite of the way I treated them, they never gave up on me. They tried and tried to get me to do the right thing, and I thank them so much for never giving up on me! They had the faith and hope I didn't have.

Because they didn't give up, I'm back on the right road! I will be getting better with all of their help. They are the people I should have had in my life, not the friends I thought cared. They let me go down the wrong path; that's not what I would call friends. Some of them even helped me go down the wrong way! My family tried to tell me they were bad for me, but I wouldn't listen. I told them, “No, no, no, its just that you don't like them!” But I now know my family was just looking out for me.

It feels great to have my family and friends looking out for me no matter how far from them I get. They are always going to be here for me. I know that now. Its the best feeling a girl can have!

Who is Right and Who is Wrong for You.

There are so many great guys out there. Unfortunately, there are also so many wrong ones. Sometimes it's hard to tell the good ones from the bad ones. I know. I just got out of a relationship with a bad one. I'm telling all of you about what happen to me because I hope my story will help you not to let this happen to you!

Every girl should have a good guy. But I didn't. The guy I was involved in always made fun of me. He told me how bad I was all the time, telling me about everything he didn't like about me and telling me what was wrong with me . When we were on a date it was ok. Then, when I got home he would text me or call me, just to and tell me how ugly and fat I was or how bad my hair looked. I cared about him so I always let it go.

I now know that deserve better than that, I really do! We all do! No one should let that happen to them. Because when you hear that stuff from someone you care about, you begin to think he may be right. But he wasn't at all! He was so wrong about me.

As girls we should never let a man tell us if we are good or bad! We know in our hearts what we are, and it is never what the rude guys are saying. Just remember that when they are tearing you down, they are doing it to make himself feel better. I'm pretty sure it worked for him!

It was the last straw when he told me to go kill myself and no one would care! After he said that, I told him we were done. Then, he didn't understand why I did that. That means there is something really wrong with him!

No girl should be in a relationship like the one I was in. That is no way to find the one for you! The one God has for you will never treat you like he did me. Don't let any guy treat you like he did me, please. It killed me to be with him. It will kill you too! It's not right at all.

The Mirror

The mirror was something I couldn't even look at without thinking something bad about myself. It's very easy to find something bad about yourself. Want to know why? Because we aren't perfect! We are imperfect, but that doesn't mean we aren't pretty! We all are so beautiful. God made us the way we are! Do you really think He would make one person ugly or fat to make them feel bad about themselves? No!

I have learned that when I look in the mirror to think about what I like about myself. There is so much good about me--much more than there is bad! That's a really hard thing to say about yourself because you are more likely see the bad then the good. You need to change your mindset in order to see the good in yourself. If all you do is think bad about yourself all you are going to do is feel bad for yourself! That's no way to live.

There is always so much good in everyone! I can tell you one good thing about everyone I know.  I really do know how easy it is to look down on yourself , but I can't even tell you how much worse it is for you! I even know a friend who has covered her mirrors because she can't even look at herself anymore. That's so sad to me because I know this girl; she is so beautiful, and I only wish she could see it too! But sometimes we are so blind to what we really look like. There are so many good things about us, we just need to see them! 

I'm Back!

I am going to get my life back in the right place. I am going to even make it better than before I went off on a bad path! I'm ready to change and be a better person.

I think some people go down a bad road just to get on a better one. I think that's what I'm doing as I write this. It feels right to be back being myself again! I kind of missed who I was before. Now, I am who was before but even better. It feels great, but I still have lots of work to do.

To even get where I need to be takes lots of work and will power. Its not like you can just say “I want to be a better person,” and then just do it! It takes lots of work and time. I had to learn that it just doesn't happen over night. When it does happen you have to keep it up. There are dark things in your life; you need make sure you take another way so you don't fall into them again. Its a big deal to be the person God wants you to be, because its who you were meant to be all along.

When you are 18 you don't really know who you want to be. After everything that has happened I know. I know who I should be, and I can't wait to become the girl I have been waiting 18 years to be. With the help of my family and friends, it will all be okay. I'm not going to say its easy, because that's not true. It’s not easy at all. But I know I can do it, with God's help.